Truly Bittersweet

[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | If you leave me now ]

I dont want to leave this blog unupdated so here I am once again.

I am here to elaborate this certain someone, whom I've been talking about from the past few months. Should I use the name Joe, to make it easier for me to type. (Joe is just a screenname ok?)

So anyway let's continue.

Joe and I had parted ways in an unexpected way. I waited in vain, and even missed an event that I was looking forward to just to have some quality time with Joe. Joe had so many "fans" that is why I've waited for soooo looong to express how extremely thankful I am for touching my life. Not just my life but the lives of loads as well. As I have mentioned in her oh so expressive and so cheesy letters, her ethereal exquisiteness and impeccably meek personality would never be forgotten by me.

The day when she finally came to my life made me realize that this might be the start of a so called "innovative life". As days pass by, I started to realized that from time to time, she is the person who actually helped me "recover" from a traumatic express from my horrid past. And as time passes by, little by little, I finally learned how to appreciate and love her as well. I never really like her at first. I thought she'd make things hard for me but she proved me wrong.

I felt various emotions because of Joe. There were times where in I feel utterly inspired because of her. Whenever I stare at the vacuous space ahead of me then her face or her name suddenly barge in my mind, I suddenly smile making a fool out of me. I just can't help but feel the bliss whenever I think about her. I know that there are moments where in I would simply be happy because of her. Ironic as it may seem but oftentimes, I loose my sanity because of her. There are times where in I would feel the grudges as well.

There are times where the river flows from my luminous eyes.

Those are the times, when I feel paranoid because at the back of my mind are worthless rants that keep on telling that she is becoming distant from me. There are also times where I envy my friends who simply converse with her. How pathetic...

There were times, where in I would miss her, and I would asked myself, "WHERE IS SHE? and then, I would talk endlessly and tell myself, "I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY TO HER.. blabla" and when that actual moment where in she is ACTUALLY THERE.. It seems as if... the world is becoming frozen, my mind starts to turn blank all of the sudden and I will end up not having a fruitful conversation with her. Its as if there's something that controls me and hinders me from letting me do what I want to do.

However, I still love her despite those random feelings that I feel. Despite the tears and insanity... she still reigns in the depths of my heart.

I cried for several weeks whenever I think of the moment that we would actually part ways. I really just can't help and accept the fact of becoming distant from her.

That is when I realize that sometimes we need to learn to let go and sacrifice that something or someone... that gives us countless smiles, and tears as well. Despite that, we actually learn and grow from the experience. I know it will be hard for us to move on but eventually, TIME would heel the wounds and would actually teach us to STAND UP WITH OUR OWN FEET. These are the experiences that help us to become stronger in the near future when it comes to our future endeavors.


I will never ever regret and forget those countless joys and tears we have shared. I will never forget her smile that can actually brighten ones day.

I consider myself lucky to have JOE in my life.. and serving as an instrument of GOD's love for all of us. No wonder why.... a lot of people LOVE you so much. Your arousing compassion that truly reigns in you was indeed a great factor of your success and taught us how to love you to bits.